Begin the Reenactment
A Ken Burns-style dramatic presentation
"What you are about to witness is a faithful recreation of the events of 117 AD, as recorded by Roman historians and one very smug goose."
Historical Context
The bout between Wayne Meyer and Sir Reginald Honksworth III, Esq. took place on the Ides of March, 117 AD, during the reign of Emperor Hadrian. It was the first and only recorded instance of a goose competing in the Roman Colosseum, and the first of many defeats Wayne would suffer at the wings of waterfowl.
Contemporary accounts describe the match as "brief," "humiliating," and "surprisingly one-sided given that one of the combatants was a bird." The Roman historian Tacitus, who was present, wrote: "I have seen men fall to lions, to tigers, to other men with larger swords. I have never seen a man fall to a goose. Until today."
The goose's victory was commemorated with a triumphal parade through the streets of Rome. Wayne was given a participation scroll and a voucher for one free therapy session with the Temple of Asclepius.
"Are you not entertained? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"
— Sir Reginald Honksworth III, Esq., 117 AD (translated from Original Honk)